The Magical Moment Between Wake and Sleep

The Magical Moment Between Wake and Sleep

I was in that quiet space between waking and sleeping early in the morning when an overwhelming sense of love and abundance washed over me—a deep knowing that all is well. In that moment, I felt completely worthy. I paused, almost trying to identify the source of this feeling of being loved and cherished. It was as though I was trying to solve a mystery: Where is this completeness coming from? I wondered, Is this Spirit? Is this God?

Instantly, I slipped into a sense of awe, trusting that everything would work out. I could see what was flowing in my life, and even though my husband’s illness had created real challenges, I knew without a doubt that I was okay. 

My thoughts drifted to the rooms of AA, and I imagined myself sharing this feeling. At first, I sensed the love was coming from outside of me - that I was filled by the love of my family, my friends, or my Higher Power.

I even imagined sharing this experience in a meeting and worried that it might spark resistance, since we sometimes enter those rooms with a self-involved mindset, even a narcissistic one. I wondered if people might think I was feeling filled up by their love. I found myself trying to figure out how to explain it clearly.

The Shift Within

But then, in an instant, everything shifted. I understood that this feeling didn’t originate outside of me at all. It wasn’t the love of others - though I know I am deeply loved - and it wasn’t even solely the love of Spirit or my Higher Power, although that love is unquestionable within my being. This was my own love. It was the realization that I finally loved myself, that I believed I was worthy, and that I knew I deserved joy. I felt an unshakeable trust that, no matter the circumstances, I would be okay.

My thoughts moved to my husband’s situation, and clarity came: Yes, this is a challenging time, but it will not take me down. I still have a life of joy and happiness ahead of me. And as long as I continue to see what is working in my life, rather than dwelling on what isn’t working, I would feel that joy more and more, until it became my natural way of being.

A Message Confirmed

Later that afternoon after writing, I went for a walk in the rain and listened to the podcast The Art of Awakening, with Dr. Sue Morter, my first time listening to her podcasts. She was interviewing Reverend Michael Beckwith, and their entire conversation centered on the power of recognizing your true identity. Experiences like the one I had earlier happened often for me: I’d have a moment between waking and sleeping, while feeling connected to my most authentic self, and in the days that followed, a podcast, book, or conversation appeared that confirmed a truth. In this case, it confirmed that I am the love.

Real Identity vs. Constructed Identity

Their discussion focused on the difference between our real identity and our constructed identity. We start defining ourselves first by our roles - job titles, being a wife or a mother. Next, we are defined by our experiences -  divorce, job loss, alcoholism. When we view ourselves through that lens of labeling, we get tangled in the story and forget we are the ones shaping our experiences. In those moments, it becomes essential to return to who we truly are rather than being identified by the outer world. When we define ourselves solely by our human identity and let those beliefs shape our views, we often become stuck in a false narrative.

A Sacred Promise

One of the most impactful parts of the conversation was when Reverend Beckwith said that we must remember we’ve made a sacred promise—“a promise to ourselves to wake up and deliver our gifts to the world.”

This resonated deeply with the experience I had just had. Sharing my realization that I am Love - that I genuinely love who I am - and that I am worthy of happiness, just as everyone is, felt aligned with that sacred promise.

The Mystic Court of Memory

He described this remembering as the “Mystic Court of Memory” and explained that visioning is a spiritual technology that helps us ask empowering questions, such as questions that reconnect us with the inner memory of who we truly are and why we’re here. Through visioning, we start to remember who we intended to become before arriving in this physical form. Instead of asking questions that pull us down, such as: Who’s to blame? or Why is this happening to me?, we shift our consciousness to: What is within me that is seeking to emerge right now?  What is the vision for my life?  How does this vast, intelligent universe see my life’s unfolding?

Accessing the Invisible Realm

When we ask these kinds of questions, Beckwith says “we access the invisible realm.” This is exactly what happens to me in those quiet moments when I’m not thinking, when I’m simply daydreaming. My authentic awareness breaks through, and over time, these visions feel real to me. I trust these experiences as my authentic story - my sacred promise to myself - and something I am meant to share with the world.

It now makes perfect sense that I saw myself in the rooms of AA. I was sensing the high frequency of awareness, and sharing what I know so others might feel it too.  I was feeling the vibration before speaking it aloud and allowing it to take root in my awareness.

Using Imagination With Intention

I also understand that if I use my imagination to create worst-case scenarios about my husband’s illness, I’m misusing that creative power within, and generating a vibration that attracts undesirable outcomes.

So it has become essential for me to use my imagination intentionally. It allows me to feel and remember who I authentically am. It’s always important to remember, the universe is working for me, not against me.